I feel responsible for Johnny Ray's success. See many years ago I asked him to be on my show and he asked for a lot of money and I cried. And he stole that from me.

I'm living in a very modest place. I have a room over-looking beautiful Claridge's Hotel. I thought it was better than paying Claridge's prices and overlooking the dump I'm living in.

I gambled at the crap table all night and finally lost $8, but during that time the house gave me four drinks and two cigars, so it was still a lot cheaper than renting a room.

I took my girl to dinner, and she laughed so hard at one of my jokes that she dropped her tray.

It's not so much knowing when to speak, when to pause.

I don't deserve this award, but I have arthritis and I don't deserve that either.

Try to save something while your salary is small; it's impossible to save after you begin to earn more.