I'm like Will Rogers, I never met a man I didn't like... well, Eichmann maybe.
I practice three hours daily on my violin so I won't get worse.
The only way I'll ever get hurt in the casino is if there's an earthquake and a slot machine falls on my foot.
There's only five real people in Hollywood. Everyone else is Mel Blanc.
I began my show business career playing violin in San Francisco at the corner of Market and Taylor. I understand that there is a theater there now.
The doctors couldn't find anything wrong with me except that I have a slight stomach pain. Wait till I get my hospital bill! Then I'll really have a pain the stomach!