One of my friends went on a murder weekend, now he is doing life for it.

One of my friends went on a murder weekend, now he is doing life for it.

I was so keen to become a comedian that actually doing the comedy itself almost came second.

And people are intrigued if I really am as grumpy in real life. People feel a bit let down if I'm laughing or smiling.

I hate people who think it's clever to take drugs... like custom officers.

Depression is something that has always figured in my life but now I'm dealing with it. I wish I'd done this years ago because it's been really helpful.

In my local newspaper, they had this advert: 'please look after your neighbours in the cold weather'. I live next door to this 84-year-old woman, and do you know, not once has she come round to see if I'm all right. The lazy cow hasn't even taken her milk in for a fortnight.