Hollywood, we decided, was a nice place to die, but we wouldn't want to live there.

It was plain to see the Hollywood undertakers take care of everything. If you die you don't have to lift a finger.

... Variety and the Hollywood Reporter, two publications read more faithfully in Hollywood than the Koran is in Mecca.

Hollywood, we decided, was a nice place to die, but we wouldn't want to live there.

Then there was the time in Hollywood when I sat down in a breakaway chair and it collapsed on me. I was nearly knocked out and might have been even more seriously hurt but my fall was broken by the smog.

Personally, I like those mystery shows. Ever since I was a kid I've been crazy about blood and detectives and murder. Maybe I was born with a silver knife in my back.

I'm not saying these flying discs don't really exist, but nobody living in Kansas City has seen them and that's a dry state.