Immigration is the sincerest form of flattery.

The California cemeteries make dying sound so attractive it's a real effort to keep breathing.

It was plain to see the Hollywood undertakers take care of everything. If you die you don't have to lift a finger.

Poor people have more fun than rich people, they say; and I notice it's the rich people who keep saying it.

I'm not saying these flying discs don't really exist, but nobody living in Kansas City has seen them and that's a dry state.

Statistics show that many people watch our show from the bedroom. and people you ask into your bedroom have to be more interesting than those you ask into your living room. I kid you not!

Randy and I were goggle-eyed as we gazed over the wonders of what Walt Disney had wrought. It was a magnificent demonstration of what God could do if He had more imagination.