Immigration is the sincerest form of flattery.

Looking back, my life so far seems like one long obstacle race, with me as its chief obstacle.

Personally, I like those mystery shows. Ever since I was a kid I've been crazy about blood and detectives and murder. Maybe I was born with a silver knife in my back.

We were ensconced as guests of the exclusive Beverly Hilton Hotel, an edifice so swank that the fire ax in the hall outside our suite said: "In case of fire-break crystal."

Poor people have more fun than rich people, they say; and I notice it's the rich people who keep saying it.

I'm not saying these flying discs don't really exist, but nobody living in Kansas City has seen them and that's a dry state.

As I was saying before I was interrupted ... I believe the last thing I said was 'There must be a better way to make a living than this.' Well, I've looked - and there isn't.