As I look back on my life, I see it as one long obstacle course with myself as the main obstacle.

Hollywood, we decided, was a nice place to die, but we wouldn't want to live there.

Poor people have more fun than rich people, they say; and I notice it's the rich people who keep saying it.

Statistics show that many people watch our show from the bedroom. and people you ask into your bedroom have to be more interesting than those you ask into your living room. I kid you not!

As I look back on my life, I see it as one long obstacle course with myself as the main obstacle.

As I was saying before I was interrupted ... I believe the last thing I said was 'There must be a better way to make a living than this.' Well, I've looked - and there isn't.

To restore a sense of reality, I think Walt Disney should have a Hardluckland.