We were ensconced as guests of the exclusive Beverly Hilton Hotel, an edifice so swank that the fire ax in the hall outside our suite said: "In case of fire-break crystal."

Immigration is the sincerest form of flattery.

She should get a divorce and settle down.

As I look back on my life, I see it as one long obstacle course with myself as the main obstacle.

Looking back, my life so far seems like one long obstacle race, with me as its chief obstacle.

The California cemeteries make dying sound so attractive it's a real effort to keep breathing.

As I was saying before I was interrupted ... I believe the last thing I said was 'There must be a better way to make a living than this.' Well, I've looked - and there isn't.