As I was saying before I was interrupted ... I believe the last thing I said was 'There must be a better way to make a living than this.' Well, I've looked - and there isn't.

Looking back, my life so far seems like one long obstacle race, with me as its chief obstacle.

I have never seen a bad television program, because I refuse to. God gave me a mind, and a wrist that turns things off.

Randy and I were goggle-eyed as we gazed over the wonders of what Walt Disney had wrought. It was a magnificent demonstration of what God could do if He had more imagination.

The California cemeteries make dying sound so attractive it's a real effort to keep breathing.

Poor people have more fun than rich people, they say; and I notice it's the rich people who keep saying it.

The only non-believer I encountered was Oscar Levant who wouldn't visit Disneyland because he said he had his own hallucinations.