She should get a divorce and settle down.

We were ensconced as guests of the exclusive Beverly Hilton Hotel, an edifice so swank that the fire ax in the hall outside our suite said: "In case of fire-break crystal."

Looking back, my life so far seems like one long obstacle race, with me as its chief obstacle.

It was plain to see the Hollywood undertakers take care of everything. If you die you don't have to lift a finger.

Immigration is the sincerest form of flattery.

It's almost impossible to dislike me, because I do nothing.

I have never seen a bad television program, because I refuse to. God gave me a mind, and a wrist that turns things off.