She should get a divorce and settle down.

Hollywood, we decided, was a nice place to die, but we wouldn't want to live there.

I'm not saying these flying discs don't really exist, but nobody living in Kansas City has seen them and that's a dry state.

The only non-believer I encountered was Oscar Levant who wouldn't visit Disneyland because he said he had his own hallucinations.

I have never seen a bad television program, because I refuse to. God gave me a mind, and a wrist that turns things off.

Personally, I like those mystery shows. Ever since I was a kid I've been crazy about blood and detectives and murder. Maybe I was born with a silver knife in my back.

Looking back, my life so far seems like one long obstacle race, with me as its chief obstacle.