She should get a divorce and settle down.

Looking back, my life so far seems like one long obstacle race, with me as its chief obstacle.

I'm complicated, sentimental, lovable, honest, loyal, decent, generous, likable, and lonely. My personality is not split; it's shredded.

I have never seen a bad television program, because I refuse to. God gave me a mind, and a wrist that turns things off.

Poor people have more fun than rich people, they say; and I notice it's the rich people who keep saying it.

Disneyland is such a big thing to Californians, I discovered that when you cross the border you have to raise your right hand and take an oath that you believe in Walt Disney.

It's almost impossible to dislike me, because I do nothing.