Blacks can get into medical school with a lower grade ... If that's true, a Jew should be able to play basketball with a lower net.
Jackie MasonTen years ago if you would have told me that Mrs. Clinton would be the frontrunner for the Democratic nomination, I'd have never believed you. Her only qualifications for office are that she's Mr. Clinton's partner. And what does that mean? The two of them stand for dishonesty and corruption.
Jackie MasonEverybody knows we're entitled to one Jerusalem. History reveals very simply that this is our land from the days of the Bible.
Jackie MasonThey call it football, but the object of the game is to bash the other guy so hard that he's eventually carried off the field on a stretcher. I can't watch football anymore. My psychiatrist said it's better that way. I used to watch a game, see the players in a huddle - and think they were talking about me.
Jackie Mason