There are more Democratic schmucks than there are Republican ones.

Did you know that the Jews invented sushi? That's right - two Jews bought a restaurant with no kitchen.

I'm still suffering from shock from the last war. I was almost drafted! Luckily I was wounded while taking the physical. When I reached the psychiatrist, I said, Give me a gun, I'll wipe out the whole German Army in five minutes. He said, You're crazy! I said, Write it down!

Blacks can get into medical school with a lower grade ... If that's true, a Jew should be able to play basketball with a lower net.

It's not a query of staying wholesome. It's a query of discovering a illness you want.

The main problem with the Democrats is their utter negativity. They're made up of schumucks and hypocrites. They also have higher levels of immorality.

Older Jews think of Franklin Delano Roosevelt and see themselves as siding with the working class and the poor, so they continue to vote the way they do.