While I have the utmost respect for people who practice the Christian faith, the fact is, as everyone knows, I am as Jewish as a matzo ball or kosher salami.

I was so self -conscious, every time football players went into a huddle, I thought they were talking about me.

I can't predict the future and I don't have respect for people who try to.

You know how many stunning women told me they can't stand a good-looking man? ... Women feel secure with an ugly guy because a man in bad shape isn't gonna cheat.

There are more Democratic schmucks than there are Republican ones.

America is the only country in the world where you can burn the flag but can't tear the tag off the mattress.

The New York Times does an unbelievable amount of damage because every day television and radio stations along with the rest of media take their lead on the way the news should be presented along with what actually is the news.