I'm crazy about the fact that the Jewish people should survive because they have so much to contribute and so many values to contribute to the world. It would be a much better world, a much more peaceful and non-violent world if we lived by Jewish values.

Did you ever hear of a kid playing accountant - even if they wanted to be one?

It's no longer a question of staying healthy. It's a question of finding a sickness you like.

The main problem with the Democrats is their utter negativity. They're made up of schumucks and hypocrites. They also have higher levels of immorality.

You know how many stunning women told me they can't stand a good-looking man? ... Women feel secure with an ugly guy because a man in bad shape isn't gonna cheat.

I've got another friend who is half-German and half-Polish. He hates Jews but can't remember why!

Money is not the most important thing in the world. Love is. Fortunately, I love money.