I'm crazy about the fact that the Jewish people should survive because they have so much to contribute and so many values to contribute to the world. It would be a much better world, a much more peaceful and non-violent world if we lived by Jewish values.

You know how many stunning women told me they can't stand a good-looking man? ... Women feel secure with an ugly guy because a man in bad shape isn't gonna cheat.

If an Englishman gets run down by a truck he apologizes to the truck.

It is more profitable for your congressman to support the tobacco industry than your life.

Everybody knows we're entitled to one Jerusalem. History reveals very simply that this is our land from the days of the Bible.

A Jew never laughs without looking at his wife for approval.

I have nothing but love in my heart and everything I say is just an instrument for laughs.