When most people return from Europe, they tell tales of all the sites they saw, the shopping, the entertainment, etc. Jews, on the other hand, return and say I had this slice of cake in Austria, let me tell you, I don't know how they make it! It was great!
Jackie MasonIt is easy to tell the difference between Jews and Gentiles. After the show, all the gentiles are saying 'Have a drink? Want a drink? Let's have a drink!' While all the Jews are saying 'Have you eaten yet? Want a piece of cake? Let's have some cake!
Jackie MasonI always thought music was more important than sexโthen I thought if I don't hear a concert for a year-and-a-half it doesn't bother me.
Jackie MasonDid you know that the Jews invented sushi? That's right - two Jews bought a restaurant with no kitchen.
Jackie Mason