You know you're getting older when you don't care where your wife goes, just so you don't have to go along.

Only uncomfortable chairs become antiques - the comfortable ones are worn out by hard use.

Junior was being chided for his low grades. Little Robert, who lived a few doors away, was held up as an example. "Robert doesn't get C's and D's does he?" asked his father. "No," Junior admitted, "but he's different. He has very bright parents".

There's no fool like an old fool --- you can't beat experience.

The ultimate in wisdom is to live in the present, plan for the future and profit from the past.

Bigamy is two rites that make a wrong.

There is no way to catch a snake that is as safe as not catching him.