When man gives up on reforming and inspiring society he also gives up his freedom.

Love is blind, but desire just doesn't give a good goddamn

Two is company, four is a party, three is a crowd. One is a wanderer.

You might as well fall flat on your face as lean over too far backward.

The only rules comedy can tolerate are those of taste, and the only limitations those of libel.

I loathe the expression “What makes him tick.” It is the American mind, looking for simple and singular solutions, that uses the foolish expression. A person not only ticks, he also chimes and strikes the hour, falls and breaks and has to be put together again, and sometimes stops like an electric clock in a thunderstorm.

Laughter need not be cut out of anything, since it improves everything.