No male can beat a female in the long run because they have it over us in sheer, damn longevity.

I never quite know when I'm not writing. Sometimes my wife comes up to me at a party and says, "Dammit, Thurber, stop writing." She usually catches me in the middle of a paragraph.

Reason is 6/7 of treason.

All men kill the thing they hate, too, unless, of course, it kills them first.

I write humor the way a surgeon operates, because it is a livelihood, because I have a great urge to do it, because many interesting challenges are set up, and because I have the hope it may do some good.

The nation that complacently and fearfully allows its artists and writers to become suspected rather than respected is no longer regarded as a nation possessed with humor or depth.

Humor is a serious thing. I like to think of it as one of our greatest earliest natural resources, which must be preserved at all cost.