The only reason people lock their car doors when Obama walks by is they are afraid he'll tax them to death...

Golfers are genuinely courteous in a discourteous world. Show me a guest on The Jerry Springer Show who's a golfer.

The press is like a big bass, you just stick a hook in their mouth and they'll take it.

Look, just go sit at the card table with the rest of the kids and let the adults run the country.

No matter what it is, if you get 10 people in the business talking about something, you get 10 different opinions, but you know, they're amazingly well informed.

Do you think I want to be the one lone voice against the Hollywood liberal establishment? It's not going to do me any good.

Whatever it took to get elected president of the United States, I don't think being a complete and utter moron is one of those predicates.