John McCain said that Barack Obama is already measuring the drapes in the White House. That's what he said. I understand Sarah Palin is already driving McCain around to look at assisted living facilities.
Jay LenoDid you know that 10% of all Americans have not had sex in 5 years? I didn't know there were so many Republicans.
Jay LenoFinancial experts are saying we are entering a new chapter in the American economy. I believe it's Chapter 11.
Jay LenoThe games haven't even started yet and already there are people complaining about the horrible accommodations at the Sochi Olympic village. Toilets don't flush. The faucets spew discolored water. They say it's like being on a Royal Caribbean cruise.
Jay Leno