Nike actually has a pair of shoes called Air-Turbulence. Try getting past airline security wearing those. Might as well call them Air-Osama.

Sixty years ago this week Hitler invaded Poland. This led to the creation of The History Channel.

Oh, here's your tax dollars at work. This is what makes people furious. The head of the GSA, a woman named Martha Johnson, has resigned after they found out she spent over $830,000 on a four-day government conference in Las Vegas. And the president is furious. Not President Obama, the president of China. It's his money. It's his money she spent.

George W. Bush loves golf because it's like the election--low score wins.

The crime problem in New York is getting really serious. The other day the Statue of Liberty had both hands up.

Former Vice President Al Gore starring in a new documentary about global warming. I believe it's called [Leno snores]. ... The film actually features Al Gore and explores his journey on how he first got interested in temperature change. It started back when he was vice president. He noticed how the temperature would change, like whenever Bill would walk into the room, it would get warm and whenever Hillary walked into the room, it got cold.

President Obama signed a bill preventing members of Congress from profiting from insider trading. Didn't you think that was already illegal?