Comedy is the only profession where love from a stranger is better than love from a family member. You need to perform for strangers to see if you're really funny. If they laugh and cheer, it's the greatest thing in the world.

Thousands of dead fish have now washed up on shore along the coast of South Carolina. Today the NRA said that this wouldn't have happened if those fish had guns.

President Obama will be going to Disney World where he'll unveil his new plan to create jobs. And what better place for the president to talk about his jobs plan than Fantasyland?

Scientists think they can now clone an all-white zebra. Now, I'm no expert, but isn't that a horse?

Some sad news, President Bush's lapdog passed away. Gee, I didn't even know Tony Blair was sick?

Show business is like Champagne. You'll appreciate it more if you don't drink it everyday

Vice President Joe Biden said today that 'Syria must be held accountable.' Unfortunately, the Obama administration has never employed an accountant, so they have no idea how to do that.