All of Iraq's oil fields are under U.S. control which is ironic considering all the gas stations here are run by Middle Easterners.
Jay LenoThere are over 30 doctors running for the US Congress this year. That's going to be rather strange. Half the time these folks will be playing God and asking women to take their clothes off and the other half the time they will be doctors.
Jay LenoThe Canadian Prime Minister said Canada would lend the U.S. its full military support. You know what that means: Both tanks.
Jay LenoClimate experts say we should tell villagers in developing countries to reduce the amount of cooking smoke they generate to help fix global warming. You know, it's as if these people don't hate us enough already. I mean, they live in mud huts, they have thatch roofs, their clothes are made of straw. We pull up in a bunch of Humvees and SUVs going, 'Hey, you want to cut the smoke out of here?'
Jay Leno