Thanksgiving began in 1621 when Native Americans sat down with a bunch of undocumented pilgrims. They had dinner and the pilgrims never left.

Don't forget Mother's Day. Or as they call it in Beverly Hills, Dad's Third Wife Day.

President Bush demanded that Kerry apologize. Can you imagine that -- Bush demanding an apology for someone stumbling over his words? ... Kerry should have tried the Bush strategy: say so many stupid things, no one cares anymore.

Researchers in England say tall men are more likely to have more children than short men. Here in America we call that the NBA theory.

Some Democrats say the estimated $60 billion dollar cost of a war with Iraq could be better spent at home. When he heard that, President Bush agreed and announced plans to bomb Ohio.

Howard Dean dropped out of the race today. At least he can't claim his voice wasn't heard.

I was in the ROTC. Of course, ROTC stood for "Running off to Canada."