New Year's Eve, where auld acquaintance be forgot. Unless, of course, those tests come back positive.

Form 1040 was chosen by the IRS because for every $50 you earn, you get 10 and they get 40.

It looks like Rudy Giuliani is out of the race. Finally, a Republican with an exit strategy.

As Miss America, my goal is to bring peace to the entire world and then get my own apartment.

Last night, John McCain said that under the Democratic health care plan, a bureaucrat would stand between you and your doctor, as opposed to the Republican health care plan, where an accountant would stand between you and your health care.

Vice President Joe Biden said today that 'Syria must be held accountable.' Unfortunately, the Obama administration has never employed an accountant, so they have no idea how to do that.

Diet Coke with lemon - didn't that used to be called Pledge?