New Year's Eve, where auld acquaintance be forgot. Unless, of course, those tests come back positive.

I was going to start off tonight with an Obama joke but I don't want to get audited by the IRS.

Valentines day are coming up and a German company has made chokolate in shapes of couples making love. I don't like them... I don't want my chokolate to have more fun than me.

President Obama said he plans on training 10,000 new math and science teachers. How about teaching math to that economic team of his?

The Houston Astros want to change the name of Enron Field where they play. I guess the Enron name could cause problems for them. Like players could steal a base and then deny it.

Congress voted for tougher laws on corporations. So now when a corporation buys a senator, they need a receipt.

Thanksgiving, when the Indians said, "Well, this has been fun, but we know you have a long voyage back to England".