John Kerry's wife Teresa Heinz is on the cover of Newsweek magazine this week and they said that if he is elected president, she will be the oldest first lady in American history. But that doesn't bother John Kerry, he said, 'To me, she looks like a million bucks'
Jay LenoI don't want to say Gray Davis is on the run, but today he released an audiotape on the Al Jazeera network from his underground bunker somewhere in the Sacramento area.
Jay LenoI guess you heard, Hillary Clinton has a new campaign slogan: "I've fallen and I can't get up!"
Jay LenoI love all these politicians, they all say the same thing - 'We'll give California back to the people.' Yeah, great, now that it's not worth anything, they want to give it back to us.
Jay Leno