It seems that England's royal family is running out of money. They are down to just $1.6 million. Well sure, that's what happens when nobody in your family has had a job for the last thousand years.

Rick Santorum is so conservative; he thinks KY Jelly is jam made in Kentucky.

Here at work, obviously, I make the most money of anyone on the show, so I try to be the first one here and the last one to leave. I have the crummiest office. I try to balance things out, spread it around.

I guess you heard, Hillary Clinton has a new campaign slogan: "I've fallen and I can't get up!"

Do you know who will be in charge of health care? The IRS. You thought getting audited was bad? Wait until your next prostate exam.

A historic operation occurred over in Boston. Doctors successfully transplanted tissue from a pig's brain to a man's brain -- and the man's brain did not reject it. That pretty much confirms what women have been saying about men.

If there isn't a parking space out front or I can't see my car from the window, we're eating somewhere else.