Did you see those Iraqis making that pilgrimage slashing their foreheads with knives and whipping their backs with chains. See, when Saddam Hussein was around they weren't allowed to make that pilgrimage. If they tried that with Saddam Hussein, he would have slashed their foreheads with knives and whipped their backs with chains.
Jay LenoIt seems The Journal of Neurology reports that the longer you smoke, the less likely you are to develop Parkinson's disease. So what are they telling us? Follow me guys. Remember, a couple of months ago, doctors said drinking a glass of alcohol every day was good for your heart. Smoking prevents Parkinson's disease. Marijuana is good for glaucoma. Sex is good for your prostate. You know, screw health care. Let's party!
Jay LenoThe New England Journal of Medicine reports that 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot.
Jay LenoPresident Obama announced this week that he is going to start sending out his own messages personally on Twitter. And today Anthony Weiner said, โItโs a trap, donโt do it!โ But President Obamaโs tweets are a little different than Anthony Weinerโs. When Obama sends out pictures of something obscene, itโs the unemployment numbers.
Jay Leno