I guess you heard, Hillary Clinton has a new campaign slogan: "I've fallen and I can't get up!"

You know what they say when a supermodel gets pregnant? Now she's eating for one.

John Kerry and Ralph Nader met face-to-face, it was a historic meeting. Astronomers said today their meeting actually created what is called a 'charisma black hole.'

John McCain said that Barack Obama is already measuring the drapes in the White House. That's what he said. I understand Sarah Palin is already driving McCain around to look at assisted living facilities.

President Obama’s approval ratings are so low now, Kenyans are accusing him of being born in the United States.

Yesterday morning Facebook was temporarily offline, leaving millions of workers unable to do anything except their jobs.

Go through your phone book, call people and ask them to drive you to the airport. The ones who will drive you are your true friends. The rest aren't bad people; they're just acquaintances.