This Osama bin Laden guy, spoiled rich kid worth $300M. I have three words for this guy: Anna Nicole Smith. We send her over there, she'll get his money, he'll be dead in a week.

Remember the good old days when the only bomb you had to worry about on a plane was the Rob Schneider movie?

Hillary Clinton said she hopes America is ready for a woman in the Oval Office. That was the great thing about her husband Bill: he was always ready for a woman in the Oval Office.

If you give everybody a slice of pie, you will still have more than enough.

A historic operation occurred over in Boston. Doctors successfully transplanted tissue from a pig's brain to a man's brain -- and the man's brain did not reject it. That pretty much confirms what women have been saying about men.

President Obama released his tax returns. It turns out he made $900,000 less in 2011 then he did in 2010. You know what that means? Even Obama is doing worse under President Obama.

I'm a staunch Independant. Every time I think I am a Republican, they do something greedy, and every time I think I am a Democrat, they go and do someting stupid.