In his speech last night, John Kerry said this was the beginning of the end of the Bush administration. I agree. Sure, it may take another five years, but this is it.

This problem with illegal immigration is nothing new. In fact, the Indians had a special name for it. They called it "white people."

On Capitol Hill, Attorney General Alberto Gonzales raised his right hand, swore to tell the truth, and then everybody had a good laugh and went back to what they were doing.

At the airport if you refuse to be patted down, they arrest you. And what's the first thing they do when they arrest you? They pat you down.

So, it's pretty crazy. Look, we're bailing out Wall Street, we're bailing out banks, we're bailing out car companies. In fact, did you know there's a special box on your tax form this year you can check if you want a portion of your taxes to actually go to running the government?

We ought to thank President Bush. He made it a lot easier for people to do taxes this year. No job, no income tax this year.

I didn't realize it was October until I saw the Chicago Cubs choking.