After saying the jobs bill is paid for, President Obama now says that it will be paid for by raising taxes over 10 years. I can't figure out if he's the kind of guy who makes infomercials, or the kind of guy who falls for infomercials.

President Bush listed his income as $822,000. You know what John Kerry calls someone who earns $822,000? Not even worth dating.

They said these North Korean missiles had enough range to hit Seattle, but residents in Seattle were not worried. Today Bill Gates said Microsoft has enough missiles to destroy North Korea ten times over.

If President Obama really wants to hurt the Syrian government, don't send cruise missiles. He should send over some of his economic advisers.

Ambition beats genius 99% of the time

If God doesn't destroy Hollywood Boulevard, he owes Sodom and Gomorrah an apology.

Al Gore has found a new job. He is going to teach journalism at Columbia University, which is ironic isn't it? The guy who did all the coke winds up going to the White House, the guy who didn't do coke goes to Columbia.