My girlfriend bought me a down jacket, she said it fit my personality.

I went out with a promiscuous impressionist. She did everybody.

I once dated a weather girl, we talked up a storm.

They asked me what I thought about euthanasia. I said I'm more concerned about the adults.

After all these years I had the privilege of naming my private part, cause we have nicknames. So I named my private part pride... it's not much but at least I have my pride.

I was lonely driving here tonight so I hugged the road.

I don't need to worry about identity theft because no one wants to be me.