His puppyhood was a period of foolish rebellion. He was always worsted, but he fought back because it was his nature to fight back. And he was unconquerable.

I went out with a promiscuous impressionist. She did everybody.

They asked me what I thought about euthanasia. I said I'm more concerned about the adults.

I went to a urologist - he told me I could go at any time.

My girlfriend bought me a down jacket, she said it fit my personality.

I went to the doctor and he said I had acute appendicitis, and I said compared to who?

My whole family is lactose intolerant and when we take pictures we can't say cheese.