His puppyhood was a period of foolish rebellion. He was always worsted, but he fought back because it was his nature to fight back. And he was unconquerable.

It all started when my dog began getting free roll over minutes

I model irregular clothing.

My whole family is lactose intolerant and when we take pictures we can't say cheese.

I went to the doctor and he said I had acute appendicitis, and I said compared to who?

My father would take me to the playground, and put me on mood swings

I wanted to take up music, so my father bought me a blunt instrument. He told me to knock myself out.