I was going to buy a book on hair loss, but the pages kept falling out.

I went to the doctor and he said I had acute appendicitis, and I said compared to who?

I went to a urologist - he told me I could go at any time.

My girlfriend bought me a down jacket, she said it fit my personality.

I'm on performance enhancing drugs, so I may cause drowsiness.

I told my therapist I was having nightmares about nuclear explosions. He said don't worry it's not the end of the world.

I wanted to take up music, so my father bought me a blunt instrument. He told me to knock myself out.