I think stand-up's, the older they get, the better they get.

I don't know how you do it [working at office]; I would just get up and walk out. That's what I did for pretty much every job I've ever had.

I think golf is a waste of time and a waste of a sunny afternoon. I also stink at it. I have never found anything, including divorce and a sexual harassment suit, more frustrating.

I don't have a nine-to-five brain.

If a waiter or waitress tells me when gratuity is included they automatically get more gratuity. When they hide it I go with the leg kick.

There seems to be a weird ceiling to being a stand-up as far as acting.

I wasn't the guy everyone liked. I was the guy that wouldn't shut up.