You could teach [George] Carlin in college. It's the construction of the word and the order of things and how they go. How all those sentences are timed perfectly.

If it's going to really make them happy for me to do it, I'll do Walken. I've got no problem with it at all.

The first time I watched [Keith] Olbermann, his opening monologue, I completely changed the way I approached my radio show.

I'm a comic because I don't want to do the nine-to-five, I have to modify that and say I'm a comic because I have an inability to do a nine-to-five.

There seems to be a weird ceiling to being a stand-up as far as acting.

I'd go back, yeah. I don't care, I got a kid, man - I'll sell tampons. I mean, there's no selling-out once you get a kid. I got a kid.

Marc Maron's podcast success has nothing to do with my podcast success. If I do a quarter of a million downloads, I can show that to an advertiser as a fact, and that's that.