If anyone thinks my show was 'pretty good,' then I've completely failed.

Not everyone likes sports. Gandhi and Malcolm X come to mind.

I don't have the ability to do a nine-to-five nor do I have the desire to. Stand-up is the only thing that's come completely naturally to me.

Unfortunately, there are no mulligans when it comes to pro football contracts.

When you do an hour and a half and you destroy, like tonight was great. I had an awesome time. I realized that I'd been up there for about an hour and a half and I realized, "Wow, I'm gonna get out of here without doing Walken." It is a bit of a moral victory.

I realized early I can manipulate the ceiling in the middle class. The allure becomes how far I can make the ceiling rise.

My radio show, I'd show up, I'd read the data, and I would have sound bites and stuff like that.