If it has to sell its mascot, your team sucks.

There is a lot of acting that is on the table - precisely, good acting. The best movies of mine are the ones that really nobody saw. The Groomsmen, Playing By Heart and Seeing Other People are by far the work I'm the most proud of.

If you think you're an alcoholic, go to Scotland. You're not an alcoholic. These people are such drunken, toothless hillbillies - I've never seen anything like it. People in Scotland drink while they're drinking.

I know content-wise I leave nothing to chance. I have no anxiety about what I'm going to do once I'm out on stage.

True Yankees are born, not made.

People that do "bits" and "jokes" or "one-liners" are going by the wayside.

I don't have the ability to do a nine-to-five nor do I have the desire to. Stand-up is the only thing that's come completely naturally to me.