The real menace in dealing with a five-year-old is that in no time at all you begin to sound like a five-year-old.

Years ago when a man began to notice that if he stood up on the subway he was immediately replaced by two people, he figured he was getting too fat.

There is this to be said about having money. You get rejected by a higher class of people.

In the beginning, we made the usual mistake of looking at houses we could afford. I am working on a proposition, hereafter to be known as Kerr's law, which states in essence: All the houses you can afford to buy are depressing.

I don't want to see the uncut version of anything.

When the grandmothers of today hear the word 'Chippendales,' they don't necessarily think of chairs.

Do you know how helpless you feel if you have a full cup of coffee in your hand and you start to sneeze?