Years ago when a man began to notice that if he stood up on the subway he was immediately replaced by two people, he figured he was getting too fat.

In the beginning, we made the usual mistake of looking at houses we could afford. I am working on a proposition, hereafter to be known as Kerr's law, which states in essence: All the houses you can afford to buy are depressing.

Movie actors are just ordinary, mixed-up people - with agents.

Now the thing about having a baby - and I can't be the first person to have noticed this - is that thereafter you have it.

The real menace in dealing with a five-year-old is that in no time at all you begin to sound like a five-year-old.

You don't seem to realize that a poor person who is unhappy is in a better position than a rich person who is unhappy. Because the poor person has hope. He thinks money would help.

I will read anything rather than work.