Years ago when a man began to notice that if he stood up on the subway he was immediately replaced by two people, he figured he was getting too fat.

A lawyer is never entirely comfortable with a friendly divorce, anymore than a good mortician wants to finish his job and then have the patient sit up on the table.

Some enterprising youth should go from door to door on Christmas morning peddling batteries.

I'm not so sure it's so civilized to be civilized all the time.

If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs, it's just possible you haven't grasped the situation.

You can't sleep until noon with the proper elan unless you have some legitimate reason for staying up until three (parties don't count).

I make mistakes; I'll be the second to admit it.