Man is the only animal that learns by being hypocritical. He pretends to be polite and then, eventually, he becomes polite.

In the beginning, we made the usual mistake of looking at houses we could afford. I am working on a proposition, hereafter to be known as Kerr's law, which states in essence: All the houses you can afford to buy are depressing.

Movie actors are just ordinary, mixed-up people - with agents.

Being divorced is like being hit by a Mack truck. If you live through it, you start looking very carefully to the right and to the left.

A lawyer is never entirely comfortable with a friendly divorce, anymore than a good mortician wants to finish his job and then have the patient sit up on the table.

I think if you can write a play, or produce a play, the first step toward success [is] if people don't want to kill themselves in the lobby. Now there must be four or five other steps, but that's the first.

The average, healthy, well-adjusted adult gets up at seven-thirty in the morning feeling just plain terrible.