Man is the only animal that learns by being hypocritical. He pretends to be polite and then, eventually, he becomes polite.

Marrying a man is like buying something you've been admiring for a long time in a shop window. You may love it when you get it home, but it doesn't always go with everything else in the house.

Some people have such a talent for making the best of a bad situation that they go around creating bad situations so they can make the best of them.

Some enterprising youth should go from door to door on Christmas morning peddling batteries.

An actor can remember his briefest notice well into senescence and long after he has forgotten his phone number and where he lives.

Years ago when a man began to notice that if he stood up on the subway he was immediately replaced by two people, he figured he was getting too fat.

While in some quarters it is felt that the critic is just a necessary evil, most serious-minded, decent, talented theater people agree that the critic is an unnecessary evil.