Man is the only animal that learns by being hypocritical. He pretends to be polite and then, eventually, he becomes polite.

Marrying a man is like buying something you've been admiring for a long time in a shop window. You may love it when you get it home, but it doesn't always go with everything else in the house.

I once truly believed that if I had to stand in line for twenty minutes to have a package gift-wrapped it actually gave the recipient more pleasure.

If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs, it's just possible you haven't grasped the situation.

I know what I wish Ralph Nader would investigate next. Marriage. It's not safe, it's not safe at all.

I was always the last woman on the last down elevator as the store was closing.

... it's impossible to register any emotion without using some muscle which, in time, will produce a wrinkle. ... By the time she is thirty, a starlet has been carefully taught to smile like a dead halibut. The eyes widen, the mouth drops open, but the eye muscles are never involved.