I know all about improvisation and the free-form that mirrors the chaos of our time, but I do like to feel that the playwright has done some work before I got there.

I don't want to see the uncut version of anything.

It has been explained to me that toys are packaged in shards, to be assembled by the middle-aged and butter-fingered, because this makes it easier for the shippers. ... If they had to spend hours and hours putting handlebars onto bicycles ... they would repent their ways and deliver something that looked like a rocking horse and not like the result of a small street accident.

A lawyer is never entirely comfortable with a friendly divorce, anymore than a good mortician wants to finish his job and then have the patient sit up on the table.

An actor can remember his briefest notice well into senescence and long after he has forgotten his phone number and where he lives.

To me having a party is something like having a baby. The fact that you got through the last one alive is not somehow sufficiently reassuring now.

I feel about airplanes the way I feel about diets. It seems to me that they are wonderful things for other people to go on.