To me having a party is something like having a baby. The fact that you got through the last one alive is not somehow sufficiently reassuring now.

You don't seem to realize that a poor person who is unhappy is in a better position than a rich person who is unhappy. Because the poor person has hope. He thinks money would help.

A lawyer is never entirely comfortable with a friendly divorce, anymore than a good mortician wants to finish his job and then have the patient sit up on the table.

I make mistakes; I'll be the second to admit it.

You can't sleep until noon with the proper elan unless you have some legitimate reason for staying up until three (parties don't count).

I once truly believed that if I had to stand in line for twenty minutes to have a package gift-wrapped it actually gave the recipient more pleasure.

It takes at least one to make a marriage.