To me having a party is something like having a baby. The fact that you got through the last one alive is not somehow sufficiently reassuring now.

Some people have such a talent for making the best of a bad situation that they go around creating bad situations so they can make the best of them.

It takes at least one to make a marriage.

Women speak because they wish to speak, whereas a man speaks only when driven to speak by something outside himself like, for instance, he can't find any clean socks.

I have noticed that in plays where the characters on stage laugh a great deal, the people out front laugh very little.

I'm tired of all this nonsense about beauty being skin deep. That's deep enough. What do you want, an adorable pancreas?

I was always the last woman on the last down elevator as the store was closing.