To me having a party is something like having a baby. The fact that you got through the last one alive is not somehow sufficiently reassuring now.

I know all about improvisation and the free-form that mirrors the chaos of our time, but I do like to feel that the playwright has done some work before I got there.

You can't sleep until noon with the proper elan unless you have some legitimate reason for staying up until three (parties don't count).

People only call you 'my dear' when they are irritated with you.

If you have formed the habit of checking on every new diet that comes along, you will find that, mercifully, they all blur together, leaving you with only one definite piece of information: french-fried potatoes are out.

A lawyer is never entirely comfortable with a friendly divorce, anymore than a good mortician wants to finish his job and then have the patient sit up on the table.

The only reason that they say, 'Women and children first' is to test the strength of the lifeboats.