Marrying a man is like buying something you've been admiring for a long time in a shop window. You may love it when you get it home, but it doesn't always go with everything else in the house.

The real menace in dealing with a five-year-old is that in no time at all you begin to sound like a five-year-old.

I'm tired of all this nonsense about beauty being skin deep. That's deep enough. What do you want, an adorable pancreas?

A lawyer is never entirely comfortable with a friendly divorce, anymore than a good mortician wants to finish his job and then have the patient sit up on the table.

An actor can remember his briefest notice well into senescence and long after he has forgotten his phone number and where he lives.

To me having a party is something like having a baby. The fact that you got through the last one alive is not somehow sufficiently reassuring now.

I make mistakes; I'll be the second to admit it.