Marrying a man is like buying something you've been admiring for a long time in a shop window. You may love it when you get it home, but it doesn't always go with everything else in the house.

Being divorced is like being hit by a Mack truck. If you live through it, you start looking very carefully to the right and to the left.

I have noticed that in plays where the characters on stage laugh a great deal, the people out front laugh very little.

It has been explained to me that toys are packaged in shards, to be assembled by the middle-aged and butter-fingered, because this makes it easier for the shippers. ... If they had to spend hours and hours putting handlebars onto bicycles ... they would repent their ways and deliver something that looked like a rocking horse and not like the result of a small street accident.

I will read anything rather than work.

I was always the last woman on the last down elevator as the store was closing.

If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs, it's just possible you haven't grasped the situation.