Some people have such a talent for making the best of a bad situation that they go around creating bad situations so they can make the best of them.

It takes at least one to make a marriage.

I don't grasp things this early in the day. I mean, I hear voices, all right, but I can't pick out the verbs.

The real menace in dealing with a five-year-old is that in no time at all you begin to sound like a five-year-old.

I'm tired of all this nonsense about beauty being skin deep. That's deep enough. What do you want, an adorable pancreas?

Oh, wouldn't it be wonderful if some manufacturer would make a toy as tough, as staunch, as hard to crack open as the carton it comes in!

If you have formed the habit of checking on every new diet that comes along, you will find that, mercifully, they all blur together, leaving you with only one definite piece of information: french-fried potatoes are out.