People only call you 'my dear' when they are irritated with you.

Years ago when a man began to notice that if he stood up on the subway he was immediately replaced by two people, he figured he was getting too fat.

You can't sleep until noon with the proper elan unless you have some legitimate reason for staying up until three (parties don't count).

When the grandmothers of today hear the word 'Chippendales,' they don't necessarily think of chairs.

To me having a party is something like having a baby. The fact that you got through the last one alive is not somehow sufficiently reassuring now.

Now the thing about having a baby - and I can't be the first person to have noticed this - is that thereafter you have it.

Oh, wouldn't it be wonderful if some manufacturer would make a toy as tough, as staunch, as hard to crack open as the carton it comes in!