The only reason that they say, 'Women and children first' is to test the strength of the lifeboats.

It takes at least one to make a marriage.

I don't grasp things this early in the day. I mean, I hear voices, all right, but I can't pick out the verbs.

It has been explained to me that toys are packaged in shards, to be assembled by the middle-aged and butter-fingered, because this makes it easier for the shippers. ... If they had to spend hours and hours putting handlebars onto bicycles ... they would repent their ways and deliver something that looked like a rocking horse and not like the result of a small street accident.

Being divorced is like being hit by a Mack truck. If you live through it, you start looking very carefully to the right and to the left.

When the grandmothers of today hear the word 'Chippendales,' they don't necessarily think of chairs.

I once truly believed that if I had to stand in line for twenty minutes to have a package gift-wrapped it actually gave the recipient more pleasure.