The only reason that they say, 'Women and children first' is to test the strength of the lifeboats.

Being on a ship is something like being pregnant. You can sit there and do absolutely nothing but stare at the water and have the nicest sense that you are accomplishing something.

I don't grasp things this early in the day. I mean, I hear voices, all right, but I can't pick out the verbs.

Movie actors are just ordinary, mixed-up people - with agents.

It has been explained to me that toys are packaged in shards, to be assembled by the middle-aged and butter-fingered, because this makes it easier for the shippers. ... If they had to spend hours and hours putting handlebars onto bicycles ... they would repent their ways and deliver something that looked like a rocking horse and not like the result of a small street accident.

I feel about airplanes the way I feel about diets. It seems to me that they are wonderful things for other people to go on.

Even though a number of people have tried, no one has yet found a way to drink for a living.