The only reason that they say, 'Women and children first' is to test the strength of the lifeboats.

I make mistakes; I'll be the second to admit it.

I think if you can write a play, or produce a play, the first step toward success [is] if people don't want to kill themselves in the lobby. Now there must be four or five other steps, but that's the first.

The real menace in dealing with a five-year-old is that in no time at all you begin to sound like a five-year-old.

Women speak because they wish to speak, whereas a man speaks only when driven to speak by something outside himself like, for instance, he can't find any clean socks.

Now the thing about having a baby - and I can't be the first person to have noticed this - is that thereafter you have it.

I don't grasp things this early in the day. I mean, I hear voices, all right, but I can't pick out the verbs.