An actor can remember his briefest notice well into senescence and long after he has forgotten his phone number and where he lives.

In the beginning, we made the usual mistake of looking at houses we could afford. I am working on a proposition, hereafter to be known as Kerr's law, which states in essence: All the houses you can afford to buy are depressing.

People only call you 'my dear' when they are irritated with you.

I don't grasp things this early in the day. I mean, I hear voices, all right, but I can't pick out the verbs.

Don't be silly. I'm a mature, intelligent woman. Of course I'm afraid of my mother.

Women speak because they wish to speak, whereas a man speaks only when driven to speak by something outside himself like, for instance, he can't find any clean socks.

The only reason that they say, 'Women and children first' is to test the strength of the lifeboats.