An actor can remember his briefest notice well into senescence and long after he has forgotten his phone number and where he lives.

The only reason that they say, 'Women and children first' is to test the strength of the lifeboats.

There is this to be said about having money. You get rejected by a higher class of people.

Confronted by an absolutely infuriating review, it is sometimes helpful for the victim to do a little personal research on the critic. Is there any truth to the rumor that he had no formal education beyond the age of eleven? In any event, is he able to construct a simple English sentence? Do his participles dangle? When moved to lyricism, does he write "I had a fun time"? Was he ever arrested for burglary? I don't know that you will prove anything this way, but it is perfectly harmless and quite soothing.

A lawyer is never entirely comfortable with a friendly divorce, anymore than a good mortician wants to finish his job and then have the patient sit up on the table.

If you have formed the habit of checking on every new diet that comes along, you will find that, mercifully, they all blur together, leaving you with only one definite piece of information: french-fried potatoes are out.

I don't grasp things this early in the day. I mean, I hear voices, all right, but I can't pick out the verbs.