Movie actors are just ordinary, mixed-up people - with agents.

I have noticed that in plays where the characters on stage laugh a great deal, the people out front laugh very little.

I don't grasp things this early in the day. I mean, I hear voices, all right, but I can't pick out the verbs.

It has been explained to me that toys are packaged in shards, to be assembled by the middle-aged and butter-fingered, because this makes it easier for the shippers. ... If they had to spend hours and hours putting handlebars onto bicycles ... they would repent their ways and deliver something that looked like a rocking horse and not like the result of a small street accident.

Being on a ship is something like being pregnant. You can sit there and do absolutely nothing but stare at the water and have the nicest sense that you are accomplishing something.

Years ago when a man began to notice that if he stood up on the subway he was immediately replaced by two people, he figured he was getting too fat.

I don't want to see the uncut version of anything.