One of the most difficult things to contend with in a hospital is that assumption on the part of the staff that because you have lost your gall bladder you have also lost your mind.

Man is the only animal that learns by being hypocritical. He pretends to be polite and then, eventually, he becomes polite.

There is this to be said about having money. You get rejected by a higher class of people.

Years ago when a man began to notice that if he stood up on the subway he was immediately replaced by two people, he figured he was getting too fat.

If you have formed the habit of checking on every new diet that comes along, you will find that, mercifully, they all blur together, leaving you with only one definite piece of information: french-fried potatoes are out.

I was always the last woman on the last down elevator as the store was closing.

The only reason that they say, 'Women and children first' is to test the strength of the lifeboats.