I don't want to see the uncut version of anything.

You don't seem to realize that a poor person who is unhappy is in a better position than a rich person who is unhappy. Because the poor person has hope. He thinks money would help.

Some enterprising youth should go from door to door on Christmas morning peddling batteries.

I once truly believed that if I had to stand in line for twenty minutes to have a package gift-wrapped it actually gave the recipient more pleasure.

In the beginning, we made the usual mistake of looking at houses we could afford. I am working on a proposition, hereafter to be known as Kerr's law, which states in essence: All the houses you can afford to buy are depressing.

Even though a number of people have tried, no one has yet found a way to drink for a living.

I have noticed that in plays where the characters on stage laugh a great deal, the people out front laugh very little.