I don't want to see the uncut version of anything.

Some enterprising youth should go from door to door on Christmas morning peddling batteries.

Oh, wouldn't it be wonderful if some manufacturer would make a toy as tough, as staunch, as hard to crack open as the carton it comes in!

I know what I wish Ralph Nader would investigate next. Marriage. It's not safe, it's not safe at all.

I will read anything rather than work.

The only reason that they say, 'Women and children first' is to test the strength of the lifeboats.

Being on a ship is something like being pregnant. You can sit there and do absolutely nothing but stare at the water and have the nicest sense that you are accomplishing something.