Some enterprising youth should go from door to door on Christmas morning peddling batteries.

I feel about airplanes the way I feel about diets. It seems to me that they are wonderful things for other people to go on.

I have noticed that in plays where the characters on stage laugh a great deal, the people out front laugh very little.

You don't seem to realize that a poor person who is unhappy is in a better position than a rich person who is unhappy. Because the poor person has hope. He thinks money would help.

People only call you 'my dear' when they are irritated with you.

I make mistakes; I'll be the second to admit it.

You can't sleep until noon with the proper elan unless you have some legitimate reason for staying up until three (parties don't count).